Life is a Dream

We like to celebrate life with adventures, because that is what life is.  We celebrated my son’s 7th birthday with a trip to the Maryland mountains. Many of our expeditions find us somewhere lost in nature; from swimming in the Chesapeake Bay, to exploring somewhere deep in the woods, floating in the waters of South Florida to hiking the Jaguar Preserve in Belize, drumming with the Garifuna of Hopkins Bay and snorkeling with the creatures near the second largest barrier reef. Life is a beautiful exploration.

His birth was an adventure, at 38 weeks I just could not birth in a hospital. I was determined, we were determined, to have a peaceful, natural birth. I had to find a home birth midwife stat and gather all my supplies to prepare for a VBAC water birth at home. 18 hours of labor I was able to get in the warm tub and work with him and my breath to birth him into this dream.

Seven years later I still remember that momentous day and amazed at how fast the time has gone and what an amazing being my son is. He asked to go camping, so we again, gathered our supplies for our celebration at 1300 feet. Nestled in the Mountains near Camp David, our site was at the highest peak. We set up camp, refueled and headed out on our evening hike.

photo 7

He truly is a wise old soul with a powerful loving heart and free spirit. He is a warrior for this world assisting the rebirth of humanity into a new way of being, a new dream waiting to be discovered in all hearts.

After our hike we got ready to snuggle into our new tent along with his sister and grandmother. It was peaceful, the birds singing us to sleep while they got ready to nest for the night. I got out my journal and asked if I could interview him about that last 7 years of his life.

Me: How have the last seven years been for you?

Son: Awesome! A very good experience. I have had to learn a lot and yeah…”

Me: Tell me about some of your experiences

(Laughing)

Son: I learned to talk and walk. I have learned how animals are different, how to ride a bike, swim. I learned to walk on water with my Daddy’s help.

Me: Do you remember when you came to Earth?

Son: I was first a star, then a dot in your belly and I grew into a human. Then I came out into a pool of water.

Me: How was that for you?

Son: It was like I was in the Bay swimming like a fish.

Me: How was it like to be a baby?

Son: When I first arrived I was a little scared.

Me: What were you scared of?

Son: I was scared of all the big humans.

Me: When were you not scared anymore?

Son: When you held me and fed me and you didn’t put me in the cage.

Me: You mean crib?

(Laughing)

Son: Yes.

Me: What did you like about being a baby?

Son: I did not get into any fights. I liked being outside and when you would take me on the snooze cruise.

Me: How did you feel about walking?

Son: It was impressive. It was my new talent!

Me: Did you like my homemade baby food?

Son: Kinda, mostly (laughing)

Me: They say 7 is a lucky number. How does 7 feel to you?

Son: It feels lucky to me!

Me: Do you have any goals or intentions this year?

Son: I would like to go to Florida, learn to play guitar and play some smooth jazz.

Wait! I am out of my mind. Ok – I am back. (laughing)

Me: What is the deepest thought you have had?

Son: To fly and visit the other side

Me: Have you been to outer space?

Son: No, I would like to go there on a rocket ship

Me: Do you fly in your Dreams?

Son: Yes!

Me: Where?

Son: I fly to the underworld and sometimes I stop to eat at the diner.

Me: What do you eat at the diner?

Son: Salad, deviled eggs, they have spring water and honey and peanut butter sandwiches.

Me: If you had a message to share with the world what would it be?

Son: Please stop hurting your Mother (Earth), do good things for each other and share. Love each other and remember that life is a dream.

There was a light rain that tapped on our tent during our slumber, a dream within a dream. In the morning, my son was the last one to wake up, when he did we sang him happy birthday and he said, “I am awake in my dream!”

Love’s Acceptance

I’ve been shown Love, unconditional and true, so why, my dear, am I so afraid of you?

You see, I Loved with all my heart, only to be stripped bare, laying naked, discarded, filled with disappointment and despair. I’ve seen the pure hearts only to be fooled by the mind — that what I longed for was hiding deep inside.

It was buried beneath betrayal, lingering with the lies, wrapped up as abandonment, and violation of my thighs. These are old stories that have taken root in my heart and mind, so it’s foreign to me to be treated so kind.

To be honored with such reverence, compassionate and true, holding space for all my storms and sunsets too.

You’ve witnessed my journey and supported every step, you’ve held me in your wings, my dear, you have never left.
You’ve been here all along, rooting me all the way, and then one day you arrived so I could see your face someday.
You washed away my fears, so that I could see what I have been looking for was the love that was me.

The acceptance of myself, my deserving tender heart…

A memory of healing that will never part.

Gifts of the Sea

I’ve been in the kitchen peeling away layers,

Laying down and unraveling my heart strings.

I have come face to face with the devil

Only to hold the hands of Jesus.

I’ve been intimate with the darkness

Only to appreciate the sun

And the light that unites us as one.

In the ocean of emotion I am tested.

Do I surf the waves or get caught in the undertow?

There is something to be said about battling illusion

And walking through fear.

I have always felt the depths of ocean

Only to find greedy pirates.

They shared their treasure alright

Only to realize I had a treasure all my own.

As I rise from the abyss I feel so free

Then another current surprises me.

I could fight it or I could float through the sea,

So see what other gifts await me.

Sometimes, I’m scared but I float through the night

Only to see your face in the morning light.

Love is the Way

Life shows us what we need to see as a gift to open and expand our hearts and minds. Last night, offered me amazing gifts.

I will not live in a man-made prison.

Fear is a killer.

Stress is a killer.

Resentment is a killer.

We are born to be who we are.

Denying our purpose is a killer.

I do not fear death.

I fear a life not lived in the ocean of love and freedom.

People live in fear of so many things, afraid that life will crush them is they open their tender hearts to wide and experience the vastness of this amazing experience we call life.

Crush me open, even more, again and again, so I do not suffer the torment I witnessed last night.

Compassion is key.

Kindness is key.

Forgiveness is freedom.

Love is the way.

love.life.now.

It’s gone in a blink.

Love Lessons

It feels strange to be writing a thank you note to some that will not see it and to the many that I could not possibly address individually. I sit in awe and gratitude as I can see how everyone and experience has been such an intricate part of my current existence and growth. There is gratitude for family and friends for their love and support during all of my ups and downs. For the kind strangers that pass on by or the ones that stay awhile; there are gifts in every exchange. For the angry beasts and the creatures that sting, I thank them all.

Tonight I want to thank some of the men that have crossed my path and have made a significant impact on opening my eyes, heart and soul and have been part of an empowerment process and realignment. I would thank them each individually and in some cases I have, but this is truly significant to the evolution of me.

I have stated many times that every relationship we have is a love lesson. Whether it be with a relative, friend, stranger or lover, but most importantly with ourselves.

I thank my father, for being part of my creation, even though we have not been close, I know he has loved me in his way. I expected more from him and did not understand for the longest time why he could not be what I wanted. They say you pick your parents and I have begun to discover why I picked this man as my father. I have learned acceptance, compassion and that love is alive even in distance.

I am grateful for a man who spent half his life and created two earth angels with me. At a cross roads he said to me, “You deserve to be happy. I can’t hold you back and I will always be here for you.” He taught me that even great change and letting go of great plans, love still lives, even when it changes form.

I am grateful for an old friend, that woke me up with one question that forever changed my life. He walked me to the fire and watched me walk through it. I learned that once a person touches your heart, they are always with you. Love never dies.

I am grateful for a stranger that became a profound teacher and friend, who challenged me like no other, broke me wide open to see who I really am. He held a sacred space for me to fight my demons, break old patterns, unlock the chains and find the power within myself again. He brought me to the edge and taunted me to fly.

I am grateful for an international journey, discussions over tea, adventures in a black cab, long talks through the forest and a tenderness and passion I have never known. He showed me the stars, limitless possibilities and encouraged me to travel where I needed to go.

Thank you, my loves, for all the lessons that brought me back home.

We all have our journeys unique to us.

Our love lessons are what we need to grow deep in love with the individual expression that we are.

My wish is that we all find love in each breath we take

In the arms that we hold

And the ones we let go.

In the end it’s about us.

The love that we are and share.

Sharing and giving with no expectations,

Holding on to nothing but an eternal memory of endless love.

 

The Destination

The moment our eyes open and we leave the warm womb we have been transported to a new world.

This journey has begun.

As we go through our life we are offered countless experiences that shape us and create the world that we live in. We hear stories, create stories and begin a storage of beliefs that can either open us up to possibilities or limit our existence. We learn to listen to others, do what we are told, do this, follow that. We constantly go on looking at this road map waiting to get to the final destination in the hopes that when we get there everything will be perfect, blissful and worth all the pain, strain and heartache that you have found on this interstate.

There are many that believe when we leave this earth we go to heaven?

Maybe we do.

Maybe we don’t.

Maybe we return as a rabbit.

Let me show you my magic hat as I attempt to pull a rabbit out for you and offer some thoughts that may change the direction you take as you review your travel plans.

What if the journey never ends?

Suppose there is no final destination.

The only thing we have is the journey and it’s up to us to create what we desire.

The future as we imagine it is not guaranteed and the past is just a fuzzy Nick and Nite rerun in your mind.

We do not live in the past.

We do not live in the future.

Our destiny is the destination of each moment.

Your journey takes you to many destinations.

It’s our heart and mind that guide us. That is our GPS, but do we listen?

Image

If we do not like our current destination what do we do?

Who do we call to change the reservations that we have made?

Close your eyes.

Take a breath.

Where do you want to go?

In that moment we open our eyes to a new world.

A new destination.

Our thoughts and perceptions can help or hinder our travel plans.

Where do you want to go?

Heaven or hell, peace or chaos is built into your dashboard.

It just depends what you choose to see out of the windshield of your mind.

My suggestion is to eliminate cruise control so that you can make choices in awareness.

Know where you want to go.

You can get there when you clean out the old debris from the past off road experiences.

If you choose to take to the sea and sail, don’t fight the wind or the currents. Flow with it.

In each moment a new beautiful destination awaits you.

You bought the ticket.

Enjoy.

Shattered

We are all unique.

We have our own hearts, our own wings and our own two feet. I don’t care what you look like, how much money you have or what you do for a living. I don’t care if you are Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist or Hindu. I care if you love others unconditionally and if you are kind. I care if you help those in need, support those in suffering and celebrate the beautiful diversity of the people of this earth and walk around with a loving mind.

There is so much division —

so much hate —

so much suffering.

Why?

It’s exhausting to defend my true nature. To fight the projections, misconceptions and false ideals people put upon me.

I will no longer waste my energy on it.

Those that know my heart value me and my existence.

My life is my message.

I may not belong to your church or believe everything you believe.

I keep it pure.

I keep it simple.

I don’t need a temple for I walk in my own.

I don’t need a church for earth is the sanctuary that I roam.

I believe in the love of every creature and I do my best to share the love that I am. So cast your judgements and throw your stones and remember that I am but a reflection of you. And when you shatter that mirror with your anger and hate, when the glass breaks and the illusion is gone…

What will you have left?

I Feel Your Pain

I feel your pain

I feel your pain.

You’ve been hurt.

We all have.

You carry your pain tightly, with a fierce possession as you mistake this as a necessity for future protection. You press the thorn back into skin in the mistaken belief this will hurt you less.

People say people grow through pain, maybe this is sometimes so. But through might be the right word and not holding onto it. Your pain makes you angry, fearful and hurt. It’s become who you are rather than something the true you experiences. You start to fear letting it go more than it hurts to hold it. It grows. It festers. It is a demon within.

Judgements follow.

Broad sweeping generalisations and simple approaches to life. Not simple in beauty but over simple narrow and blinded. Engaging in life becomes painful, so you don’t look deeply within. Your external view becomes as shallow as your internal one. Your no longer engaged with life. Your bitter and hurt. The demon is more you than you.

The dark shallowness of you is painful to me, because I see moment by moment potential thrown away.

Lest you think I’m saying in perfect, we all have our demons to battle, inside not without. But when you are offended by others, when they make to angry, when your immediate reaction is hateful to individuals or a group know that in that moment the demon has won. When he wins he takes a step towards hell.

You might not even notice because you probably feel your already there.

Written by A. Bear

I want

I want you to shine so bright my eyes burn
And I see nothing but gorgeous rays.

I want to tease you out of hiding
Show you there is no fear.

Have you feel your existence
Your reason for being here.

I want to hold you in my arms,
And kiss away the pain.

I want to inspire you to take the steps you need
And know, that nothing is in vain.

Breaking Free

I hear the whispers from across the ocean.

I see the mirage around my mind.

I feel the spirit that flows through my flesh.

 

It’s bubbling.

It’s burning.

It’s now time.

 

I hear the messages from the mountains

I see the suns rays fueling life

I feel the creation surging inside me.

 

It’s happening

It’s heavy

It’s heaven.

 

Will you come or will you stay

Here on earth in your complacent ways?

 

Will you take the step and lift the veil

Or continue to sit translate braille?

 

Will you live to die or die to live

Because the choice was given 

Not yours to give.

 

The time is now to be free 

And escape the chains that prevent your flee.

No one holds the key but you

Break them now to see the truth.

 

Your time here is short.

What will you do?

 

What you want is desperately

awaiting you.