Eternal Love.

He wakes me in the night.

I feel him although he is not here.

I hear him though there is no sound.

His arms hold me close as he whispers in my soul, ” I am here.”

Tears fall on my pillow.

I yell into the darkness, “No you are not!”

He replies gently, “I never left you.”

I yell some more.

I remember vividly when he left.

I remember each goodbye.

The war was raging and he had to go into battle on his own.

He gave me my freedom, yet I did not feel free.

Freedom was in his arms.

Freedom was the way our souls danced,

The way our lips spoke an ancient language each time they pressed against our skin.

How our bodies danced as One.

Freedom was being present and open to a sacred raging fire

That transformed us into nothing and everything

Until all that was left was

Love.

Many roads and lifetimes we have traveled.

I have let go of all the stories.

I have cleansed, cleared.

I have saged and burned

Yet there is a something that remains.

An eternal love.

One that cannot be defined.

One that cannot be caged.

One that is free to roam through all time, space and dimensions.

No matter how hard you try

You will not win this battle.

Love does not die.

 

 

The Sacraments

sac·ra·ment
noun
a religious or spiritual ceremony or that is regarded as an outward and visible sign of inward and spiritual divine grace, in particular.

 

Baptism.
Communion.
Confirmation.
Reconciliation.
Anointing of the sick.
Marriage.
Holy orders.

We have all be initiated into the sacred journey of life. It is the ultimate Shamanic journey. We are Baptized into Being and along this long and winding road we come into Communion with Spirit. Through the illusion and the shadows of doubt we are ask to confirm what lives and breaths us. Throughout life we may betray our hearts and fall deeper into an illusion until one day we see the false life we have created come crashing down and we must reconcile with our own heart.

We have to forgive ourselves for being blind for so long. We may have suffered sickness and dis-ease from our disconnect from Life itself. The Dark Night of the Soul happens.

We Rise again.

We become the Anointed Ones.

The wounded healers.

The Sacred Marriage happens within us.

We celebrate the union of Spirit and Matter.

The physical and the non physical.

The masculine and the feminine.

The holy marriage of life itself, living and breathing in us, through us, as us.

The Holy orders have been given.

The Restoration of Heaven on Earth.

To Live as embodied Free Spirits

As C0-Creators working with the seen and unseen.

A relationship of Trust, Faith, and Love.

Within and Without.

Our Life is sacred, each breath a gift, each moment ceremony, each step a procession to express a Higher Love.

 

Risen.

Go forth and multiply in consciousness.

The day will come when she will return, with him, and we rise together in harmony again. The second coming of Christ is the consciousness in the sacred hearts of all beings, the beloved sons and daughters of the cosmos.

The illusion is that we have followed the word that has been lost in translation. We have not followed in signs and symbols and the messages in plain sight. We have followed dogma and doctrine without questioning the origin or deeper meaning. We have not, until now,  followed fully on the true faith in our own hearts and personal experience. It has been taught for ages, yet not fully embodied because we have been fooled that this something is out there.

That something is right here, right now, living and breathing in you. You are the holy ghost incarnate in it’s physical essence. You are the heart, head and hands of the God + Goddess.

Do you accept that as you receive the holy breath that is the divine spirit. The energy unexplained. The essence that knows and guides and loves you so deeply. This, dear hearts, is you, made in the likeness and image.

Be still and know.

The heart-mind made manifest.

The fire in your belly, the breath in your being and the yearning in your heart is waking you up from a deep slumber.

It’s time to rise and shine beautiful hearts.

He said, “Follow me” meaning his example and leaving so many incredible clues to the alchemy that is Tantra. He was/is showing the way towards inner alchemy and the soul’s evolution through the seven gates (chakras), the emotional, mental and spiritual energetic bodies, uniting the feminine and masculine Christ (the sacred marriage) for the ultimate Self- Realization and hu-man ascension, here and now.

“For love is heaven, and heaven is love” ~ Sir Walter Scott

As Dale Allen Hoffman echos, “We are the one’s we have been waiting for.”

It’s time to find your soul, mate.

We are the creators and the destroyers. We are on the Rise to restore our holy heaven known as Earth.

 

The Divine Garden

And the day will come when the earth with shake and the rain will fall. You will feel her, the energy, the holy spirit move through you and all things and you will shake. As the rain falls you will release purifying tears from your eyes that will help you see the truth of your being and this creation.

The Garden of the Divine (GOD) is blooming once again before our eyes.

Tend to your inner garden, nurture the soil of the soul, and use the weeds for medicine to awaken your senses. Beloveds, bite into the  sacred apple of wisdom once again and see that this is not a sin, but a sacred symbolic gateway of divine responsibility.  It is divine nutrition. Each fruit bears seeds of consciousness. With proper care and responsibility we shall all bloom once again in the Garden of Eden.

Earth is our Eden.

Welcome Home.

Welcome Home.

Sacred Initiation

A Goddess came to visit offering an invitation,

An initiation of Sacred Rites.

She had been preparing me for lifetimes and today was the day.

Tears flowed down my face as I had visions from the past greet me in present time.

She delivered a gift,

A Beloved to greet me,

Offering a presence of great magnitude.

A baptism enveloped with healing hands and sacred oil,

Anointing me

Blessing me

And honoring the Goddess that had long been forgotten.

With each mindful touch,

Stroke and caress

Offered great reverence,

Compassion,

Love and respect.

In that moment,

I remembered

Who I AM.

I AM Sacred.

I AM a Goddess.

I AM back.

I Wait

The naked trees, the soft rain, a mirrored reflection.
Stripped bare only to feel the elements of the heart.

She speaks in the wind and dances with the limbs of existence.
Wanting to grasp onto something that is fluid, yet constant.

She dances.

In the wind
In the rain
In the snow.

The heart knows.

It guides her sweet soul
To a place so familiar, yet unknown.
There is the seen and unseen.

She sees it, feels it.
She remembers.

Gravity pulling
Heart knowing
Tears falling

Into a dark expansive hole.
Yet feels the radiance on the horizon.
She’s been told to wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

It’s there.

Just wait.

Feel the rain
Feel the sun
Dance in the wind.

Feel me there.
I feel you there.
I wait.

The Death of Me.

September 15, 2014

Today, with intention I sip, knowing that openings will present themselves as I drink the sacred cacao as it absorbs in my body. What surfaces is joy, bliss and knowing along with revelations on what is meant to be seen and healed in this present moment. They say this precious plant medicine will open you up and bring you to the door, but it’s up to you to walk through it or not. I was ready to break on through to the other side.

A deep discovery that begs forgiveness.

Puzzle pieces placing themselves together effortlessly in my heart and mind. A past life memory arriving in present time asking, “Do you still love me, even though I took your life?” I sit, in deep love and compassion and say, “Yes, I forgive you and love you always. I did then, and I do now.” The heart never forgets and love never dies. Releasing wounds and stories from our past, in this life and others opens up gates of expansion for deeper love of self and others.

I grieve.

Deep sobs.

Heart busting out of my flesh as I feel what happened then and now. My eyes have become waterfalls of purification in an unplanned baptism of my inner truths gushing out of me. He killed me in another life out of jealously because of a close relationship I had with a woman. It began to make so much sense to me and how it was playing out now.

I will never forget the day I read his words for the first time:

“From the glass door I watch.

The lightning crashes and thunder roars all around while I stand protected by this thin piece of fired sand. I want to step out into the darkness, to feel nature’s fury and take a chance that this life is not yet done with me. I want to leave this place where I feel secure and protected to venture the wild unknown—to get that sense of freedom and knowing that I’m alive.

The voice calls and beckons me to step outside. A bolt sears through the sky illuminating what cannot be seen in the darkness. I can see the highlights of the trees in front of this door as the thunder asks for my answer. I raise my hand to the glass and can see the outline of my hand reflected as if a part of me is outside trying to get in. Is the other me frightened? It the other me asking me to protect him? Or is he asking me to come with him, to venture into the great unknown where the only certainty is uncertainty? Whichever, I stand alone looking at myself in the glass unsure of the steps I’m about to take. I am here, now…not there, then. The reflection of the self I see disappears with each flash of light as the self I wish to be beckons, knowing that whether I’m here or there I am seeking that call of the wild I have heard since the day I was born.

I look around in my box, this place I have built for myself that somehow feels safe. As the storm rages out there I see the beginnings of truth. This box is painful. Each piece of timber laid, each window set, each nail driven a testament to pain. In pain I sought relief—I sought security and I built this place to give me a sense of that. Yet, in a storm such as this we begin to see that each piece of timber, each nail and each shard of broken glass is a weapon against us in the winds of time. Each link of the chain we wrap around ourselves becomes a testament to a lie, and we begin to strangle the very thing we want to be. We weigh ourselves down with a false sense of everything, never knowing what we are because of the boxes and chains we have forced ourselves into. I cannot play in the rain if I’m chained to this place. I cannot see the stars with this roof blocking my view. 

I cannot see the world from the summit of a mountain if I keep myself locked behind these doors. Somehow the wind, rain, lightening and thunder don’t seem as dangerous as this place that’s giving me the illusion of peace and safety. Dying free is better than living under the burden of these things. I want to be free and enjoy this lightness of being. I want to dance in her arms with the rain drenching us. I want to hear her song in the wind, feel her power in the natural state we are in. I need to break free if I’m ever going to get those things I want the most—those things I see when my mind is still and my heart is open. I need to shatter the glass door so the storm can envelope all of this. So that I can never return here. I pick up the hammer I have used so many times before in building this place. It brings back memories I don’t wish to have. I stare at it, wondering where I ever found such a tool, and can’t remember when I ever picked it up. I don’t want it anymore. It needs to be lost in the storm. I look around and smile.

I can’t wait to be free of this place and walking into the unknown. I walk up to the door. I feel a sense of trepidation and relief mixed together in this moment. Soon I will be without shelter. Or will it be the sky is my roof? I chuckle at the thought, somehow knowing… I believe I will have to dodge the wreckage of my illusions, the debris of my mind as it is consumed by out there. I look up, seeing the other me slowly raise the hammer with a look of fear in his eyes and determination in his grip. He hurls the hammer both toward me and away from me at the same time.

I hear the sounds of glass shattering along with the rush of wind and crack of thunder. One of us ceases to be in that moment of great liberation. I am free as the orange tinted clouds betray the dawning of a new day on the horizon. I cry, I laugh, and I dance… I am born.” – Sam Vega

I knew once I read these words, my life would be forever changed. His heart pulled me in like a magnet and I knew that I needed to follow this force if I was going to free myself. I remember when our eyes met for the first time. It was like reuniting with a long lost friend. The room went black and as we embraced I said, “Here I am.”

He replied with a tear in his eye, “You made it.”

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” -C.G.Jung

He walked with me for sometime, showing me vistas and challenging terrain. We loved, we fought and we would always return in love. He came back each time to show me a deeper part of myself.

He came back to save my life.

A revelation and redemption as I was discovering myself again. He pushed me and I let him. I was not a victim in my death, I asked for it. He came back to show me what I am made of and what I deserve in this life. The jealously he felt then, was symbolic of the power I held within.

He came back to crack me open.

He came back to set me free.

He watched me fight for the liberation of me.

I faced death again,

Only so I could live.

To my future partner

I came into this world alone and I will leave it alone, but in between I have been re-writing my happily ever after. It’s not a destination I seek, it’s here and now. I do not need anything or anyone to complete me for I was born beautifully whole. I have walked this earth, I’ve been battered and bruised. I’ve been held in love and held in lies. I have inhaled the grand vistas, walked through the dense jungles, swam the depths of the ocean and found my way through the darkness of night.

I am a warrior.

Yes, I have scars on my flesh and in my heart, but they are not who I am. They are stories, lessons and reminders that have brought me to present moment. They have shown me how far I have traveled.

I will not be defeated by illusion, for I know there is so much more to this existence I see.

I see beyond the stars.

I hear whispers in the wind as she blows through me.

I see reflections in the pools of the eyes that meet mine
And visions that flash in my consciousness.

I talk to nature.

I honor the sun and the moon.

I celebrate fire and rest by the waters edge.

I feel life with ever fiber of my being.

I have eyes of a tiger

And wings of an angel.

My senses are strong, so come in truth with your naked soul. In your vulnerability there is strength beyond measure. I warn you, I am all fire and if you hold back an inch you will burn. We have had heart break. I celebrate it. I realize it has broken me open to the vastness of this existence.

If your heart is closed or you live in fear, I suggest you don’t tread here.

There have been those that have claimed to love me, and I loved them deeply as I welcomed them inside my heart and the flesh of my existence. When I love, I love; it is limitless and never ends. I have had amazing experiences while levitating off my bed and astral-cosmic connections that where out of this world. But I desire that dedicated partner, here and now, in present time to team up and support each other in all our endeavors; healing humanity and living a passionate existence in all ways. A partner where we rock this world together inside and outside of our lovers embrace.

I travel well alone, however, in union there is strength.

I am not easily defined, or caged to one spot.

I like to explore the depths of this world and discover and uncover all that we are.

I am kind, I am tender, I am loyal

And I am fierce.

Love lives here.

You will find me

When you are ready to

Rock

This

World.

Love Lives Here

The moment I read your words, I felt your soul.

It called me.

It moved me so deeply as they were written just for me.

This was the beginning of the liberation of me.

I did not know where I was going but I knew that I needed to fly.

I was not meant for the cage of the existence I was living. I knew there was more. My heart was hungry and the fire that was slowly fading became a raging wild fire. It burned through the lies and ignited the truth and showed me the way, to me, through you. How could you not feel my soul when it guided me to you?

You saw the flames and knew there was no stopping the destruction but you also knew that you had to let me burn, face my fears, my demons and the ghosts that heckled me in the night. You walked me to it, and I thought I may have lost you in the fire, until I saw you through the dense smoke on the other side. You never left me, even when I thought you were gone forever.

How come you still can’t feel my soul?

Maybe you still have guards at the gate.

You love me, but won’t let me in, even though I have let you in time and time again.

You have come to me in rage, you have come to me in love and you have shown your face in my dreams in fear when I felt you gasping for air. I had every intention of letting you go, yet you reappear. I will not force a souls journey. I will not augment the lessons. I will continue to travel with the gifts and beautiful memories in my heart and know that even through the barriers of your heart and mind…

Love lives here.

I wonder if you feel the waves calling you to the sea, as the birds taunt you to fly.

You wish for the depth as you look at the skies. You want to swim as much as you want to fly.

Until the flood gates open, the waves of love crash on the doors of your heart.

On the other side you will see that there is no sky, there is no sea.

There is only you and only me.